Over, Not Under

Well Lord~

I am back home from graduate school. I have a bachelors and masters and am looking for a job.
I have many things, but no job yet. That I am looking and trusting for.

I know you are faithful, but I am a mortal and fearful at that. I am sitting at home filling out applications and then waiting waiting.

Something I am very thankful for though is that I am no longer depressed. You have brought me out of my depression and though I am relearning how much you love me and how much other people love me, I am slowly headed out of the fog.

The fog can choke me sometimes, but then again it can also provide enough protection and covering for healing time. Thank you for that. I am still healing, but I am less raw. I don't let my emotions run me.

For that Lord I am more grateful than I can fathom.

Till tomorrow (hopefully) :-)

In your covering name,

Amen

Praise to the Refiner

Dear Lord,

Today is a new day. There is much to do, but really taking a few moments at the beginning of the day to focus on you in very important. Lately I've been feeling redone, reformed, and reinforced. After admitting to myself my struggles, I got the opportunity to partake in communion, and it was so refreshing and real to me. I guess I have become tarnished lately, letting the grime of the world build up on me. Thank you for re-polishing me. Praise be to you the refiner of our faith. Over the struggling times, I would never say I lost my faith, but it was hard. I have now come to understand you better because of my trials and dark times (that I am still walking through). Lately you have been refreshing my faith and letting me experience you anew and building on the foundation of our relationship when I was a young child and through high school. Those years were pivotal, but so are these. Being 23 now and learning to take small significant independent steps is hard, but when you and I do it together it is okay.

Lord I pray for friends that will be uplifting and positive in my life. I love being around people and I just love people. But you know my struggles and my insecurities, so please be my discernment when it comes to spending my time with people. It is hard for me to be around people who constantly tear me down. Please be my uplifter through other people that you are abounding in now. Thank you for your promise to complete a good work in us. I know that sometimes I let that drop to my periphery, but that is what is very important. Thank you for all you have showed me and grown me while here at this season in my life. Please help me keep you in the lenses of glasses, because when you drop to the area my corrective lenses does not cover, I lose my footing. Thank you for your willingness to help your creation if we ask and petition you.

So Jesus thank you for revealing yourself in all situations, even in the death of a classmate. This week I attended the memorial service of a Christian student who I worked with. The service was an amazing attribute to you and your majesty and holiness. The boy's family exhaulted and testified to your faithfulness in sadness and tragedy. I really felt like you were there standing next to me and you let me worship you in a way that freed me from some bonds that seemed to constrict me lately. Thank you for that. It was a precious gift. You are big, Lord. Thank you for your plan and how you give us freedom to love you and know you. Thank you for revealing your heart to us. You care for us. You love me. God Loves Me. Thank you for that message at the service. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Lord please be with my family, friends, and those who cross paths with me today. May my smile or words bring them comfort and love, not frustration. Thank you Jesus. Be with me today as I meet and talk to people.

Thank you for your refining fire.

In your Holy name,

Amen

Windows down

(It has been a while since I last posted...sorry)

Lord you know my heart and the things that make me tired. You know me. Please come close as I learn to listen again. Sometimes I talk so much I forget to listen to what you have for me. Yesterday I got lost on my way home from work as I drove through the suburbs. It was so peaceful though. As I was driving with my windows down and my music up loud you were talking to me through the radio and that still small voice.

Thank you for whispering to me after reading your word yesterday. I know that you are the counter of my days and you have something ahead for me. I get frustrated when I loose sight of you and your plan. This summer I have not always seen you through the clouds hanging around me. Please be the rain that clears the clutter in my vision today. I know that you take us how we are and you make us worthy. You are the refiner. Please show me the details you have for me ahead. You are a God of the big picture, but you also are a God of the details that show us you love us. Thank you for your guiding love, even when we can't see it just ahead because of the clouds lurking around us.

Thank you for giving us grace. You are the planner and provider. Please both of those things to me as I have to make plans and make decisions today. I don't want to move from this uncomfortable cleft of the mountain unless you are coming with me.

Thank you for the sketches of love in life. You pencil in moments of encouragement when we need them.

To the giver of hope

In your holy name,

Amen

Hosanna

¹Therefore be imitators of God...³But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. ⁴Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. ⁵For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. ⁶Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. ⁷Therefore do not become partners with them; ⁸for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹(for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), ¹⁰and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. ¹¹ Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. ¹²For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. ¹³But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, ¹⁴for anything that becomes visible is light... ¹⁸And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, ²⁰ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5 (parts of it)


Lord-

I thank you for being a God who wants us to communicate through singing. Thank you for giving us ears to hear and feet to keep a beat to. Thank you for making us musical beings. Often you instruct us in your word to give you a sacrifice of praise. You call us to sacrifice something of great value. I am asking myself what it is I am sacrificing for you and not to satisfy myself or my definition of sacrifice. I can make myself feel sacrificial, but that doesn't mean that my sacrifice is beautiful to you. Lord please make my sacrifices of praise beautiful to you today. Please erase and cleanse my selfish motives.

One song that they sang at church this weekend was "Hosanna Hosanna." (see below links) This song has really given me a lot to think about right now as the crossroads of my life are marked right now with the "intersection ahead" sign. I want it to be a fragrantful sacrifice to you.

Another scripture you have given me as I am merging the passions you have given me is

Colossians 3:16 --

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Lord you speak here of merging the gifts that you give us. Thank you for that orchestrated overlap of your will in our lives, as your children. Lord I have much I could do...but what song are you composing for my life. Lately there have been many squeeky sections, but you make it all beautiful by rewriting the parts of the orchestration for it to glorify you. Please let me hear the echos of this orchestra you are conducting in heaven. Thank you for those glimpses of the heavenly tune that I cannot wait to help you play when I reach the beautiful, musical eternal realms. I know it will make this place sound just like nails on a chalkboard. Thank you Lord.

I have my heavenly earphones on as I read your word, pray, and tap my foot to your mighty orchestra composing in heaven.

I'm humming along...

In your name, the Great Composer,

Amen

a Psalm for your thoughts

Psalm 127: 1-2

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Lord-

This psalm has been on my radar lately. It is all about the vanity of doing something out of our strength. I think the reason I have been reading this over and over lately is because you are trying to have this sink in. Lord, I'm sorry that I often build myself, watch for things that I cannot see along, and am kept up with pointless worry or concerns. Sometimes I try to control my circumstances, when you really have other things in store for me.

Lord you are bigger than me and I thank you for that, even though at times I see my smallness as such a burden. Lord thank you for keeping me knit in your hand even if I try to stand at the edge to catch a glimpse of the other side (sometimes without me even knowing it).

Thank you.

In your name,
Amen

Birthdays Full of Transitions

Lord-

Sometimes I just wish I could play my guitar and not think about all my responsibilities. I am now 23, and I enjoyed my birthday. BUT (oh no the big wrecker word) lately my regrets have outnumbered my joys. I know that is such a pessimistic view. But lately I have just been focusing on my shortcomings and sense of failure, rather than your grace that pulls me and repels me away from the sin and temptation of this world. But lately, even though I'm driving with a dirty windshield through life, you keep reminding me that "there's no such thing as perfect people, there's no such thing as a perfect life....be amazed and be changed by a perfect God (you, Jesus)." These are specific lyrics from Natalie Grant's Perfect People song (see below).

This keeps coming on the radio, especially when my destructive thoughts seem at their peek. Thank you Jesus for reminding me that you are the only perfection, I cannot be perfect here and my life can never be that either. You are the element that allows for us to gaze into perfection.

Another powerful song is by Ginny Owens called "Free". One girl from my youth group growing up showed me this song and it changed me. God you used it to bring about a transformation in me.

Thank you Lord for walking with me even when I fall from the path lately. I'm sorry, but I guess I keep trying to carry things on my own, but I know you are the only one who carries me when I let myself get discouraged. I know I don't deserve you, but you came to die for me. That is what makes me feel so so small at times. Though, that is probably really good for me. I'm sorry I fight my smallness sometimes. Please make me okay with feeling small and let me follow you and not my own wanderings. Thank you Jesus for speaking to me, even when I am not listening.

Thank you again Lord.

In your preserving name,

Amen

The Quietness of Reading a Book

Lord-

It has been a bumpy ride lately, but then again you know that because you are traveling with me. You are traveling with me on my rocky journey. Thank you for that. I'm very sorry that I don't always seeing you standing next to me. Sometimes I grapple in my darkness for familiarity when really you are right there beside me.

I'm struggling in walking with you, even when your expectations don't match mine. You are calling me right now to put down some sacrifices I'm holding in your name and just sit with you in silence. I'm definitely a Martha and not often a Mary. I like doing...it is validating. I struggle with not meeting what my Christian worldview thinks I should be doing as a faithful Christian following you. You are currently redefining my definition of being a servant. I always thought being a servant was doing, but really you will bring yourself glory through me. Your expectations are perfect. Right now I am expecting something different of myself than you are expecting of me. I'm sorry for following the shadows of Christianity around me rather than you. I have so many different ideas and new lessons you are teaching me, Lord, that I don't know how to begin.

Christianity is often hedged in by human expectations, when really you want to know us. I'm sorry that I don't sit in your presence as much as I should. I'm sorry that I feel like my relationship with you is a formula. If I don't do Bible study that morning or if I don't spend time in prayer that day, then you won't answer my prayers or give me insight in solving a problem. This isn't even a conscious thought process at times, but it is a lie. I'm sorry that sometimes I reduce your holiness to an equation of the heart. You are a God not bound by the rules of space and time. If Newton's law (for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction) were true, then for my sin death would have no choice but to take me. You are bigger than the "equal and opposite reaction." Thank you for being bigger than the laws of space and time that exist in the present world and in the world of our hearts.

Lord you are revealing to me more and more that you are in light and dark corners of my story. You sat with me in the dark as I screamed with frustration and the moments of light that seemed to outshine you. You are there. You will be there. You are the steadfast love. You sometimes use others to show me love and wisdom, and I thank you for that. Thank you for being there and walking me and, at times, carrying me through my darkest places. You are there and can see the path.

Lord sometimes I try to force together the pieces of the puzzle to show me my purpose in you, instead of waiting for you to put the pieces together. You know what the puzzle box looks like. You have known from the moment I entered this world. I think that you probably sigh when I plan my life based on the current piece I am looking at. I'm trying to not do that, but even this week I found myself sacrificing out of sacrificing sake instead of out of obedience. You do not want a useless offering. You want an offering of obedience. Thank you for showing me that, even though it is a hard hard lesson to learn (and keep learning because I am a human -- oh how true that is daily).

Thank you for letting me look back at a small pieces of puzzled life the witness how you connected the pieces so far. Thank you for letting me reflect lately.

Lord I sat in beautiful quietness reading and listening to someone's life speak into mine. I love biographies/autobiographies because the experiences of others can teach me something about my own walk. I close with a quote of a girl describing how God changed the heart of someone in her life toward her passion for music:

"...I don't really know what happened. All I know is that God opened the heaviest door with such beauty and grace and ease that I didn't have to do any pushing on my own." -- Here's to Hindsight: letters to my former self, by Tara Leigh Cobble.

Lord, you are here.

In your ever present name,

Amen

To God the Worker of Good for Those Who Love You

Lord-

It is Sunday night of an exhausting week (past) and weekend. At times it is hard. You know how hard it is Lord to get up and walk around in a world that is not our home. We were made to exist with you and not be held captive by our sinful flesh.

I don't mean this as discouragement, but it is something that I am actively battling. The light dispels the darkness and sends it running. Thank you for being the God of the realms that are too dark to imagine. You are the God of illumination. You take our experiences with darkness and turn them into moments of light for you.

Sometimes I feel like my prayers do not rise above my mind. I get frustrated because I feel like I do not know how to listen to you. I feel like I don't ask the right questions. Then today I came across a quote while reading for class about prayer really encouraged me:

"In a new way I began to realize that true answers to prayer are those that bring the greatest glory to God, not those that satisfy my immediate needs [or what I think those needs are]." -- Paul G. Hiebert, from The Flaw of the Excluded Middle. (brackets mine)

Sometimes in my prayer times I feel like I want to talk to You, Jesus, about something, but then you bring up another subject. Lately my heart has been exposed so much that it is sore from the world's wounds on it. Lord, I know you are doing many things in me because the darkness comes to choke me often, but you are bigger. The song I referred to last week still applies to me this week: "Whatever you're doing inside of me. It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace. It's hard to surrender to what I can't see. But I'm giving into something heavenly."

Lord, I'm unsure with what tomorrow and what my time after school will look like, but I am confident that not only will you see this good thing in my to completion, but that you began that good work to begin with. Sometimes I push myself off to the side saying why would anyone want to know or work with me, but God you began a good work in me because you choose to. That choice is so powerful to me, because love lately has been hard to feel. I know that is being very honest, but it is true. I am not trying to make myself a martyr. You know that I am not someone who takes things lying down, but lately you are reacquainting me with what love looks like. It is in the hands and feet of those around me. I cannot always feel it (or want to feel it) but it is there. You are there holding me as I walk into unsure places. Sometimes lately I feel like crying more than breathing because my exposed heart is very open and exposed.

Lord you are doing a mighty work in me because you are altering my habits, heart, and the way I think. That pattern is not broken easily. Please be my daily redeemer from this broken world. Lord you are bigger than my fearful moments and thoughts. My insecurities run deep, but you are deeper. You are deeper than the weeds of sin in my heart. You are the gardener uprooting the lies in my life and in daily thoughts. It is not hard or peaceful, but you bring the calm after the storm ordained by you. I am still in the storm, but thank you for the promise of calm in you. Please be the calmness that I dwell in today and tomorrow.

Good night my almighty peace giver.

To the keeper of my turbulent heart.

In your name,

Amen (as a declaration of your glorious promise to hear us and work things together for good for those who love you, Lord ~ to this promise I cling)

Easter in Retrospect

Lord-

Redemption weekend was an experience like nothing I remember growing up. Easter has always been about family, traditions, and church. Those things are good, but You are the main reason we remember Easter. Sometimes I fall into what the culture around me tells me to think. Going through this Easter alone (without my family) really made me think about the true meaning of the cross.

On Friday, I thank you for remembering me while You were on the cross. You knew what sins I was going to stumble over before I ever came into being. This Friday I spent the day walking around the city and really praying over some issues. You really broke me Lord over some strong holds in my life, parts of my heart and mind where lies had taken root. I realized that this Easter was when you wanted those surrendered to you. I went into the retreat day assuming you were going to say one thing and struggling when you didn't end up saying the thing I thought. Something better happened though: You had me approach some things that really freed me from some binding lies. I thank you for that.

Saturday. The song that says "whatever you're doing inside of me/it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace" (by Sanctus Real) was how I felt on Saturday. I felt chaotic with emotions, but somehow there was peace. Jesus, you were weeding out the lies and really renewing me through me doing basic tasks such as cleaning the bathroom and homework. You were healing my mind by giving me mundane, self-explanatory things to do. The routine and quietness on Saturday really did help heal me this weekend. Thank you.

Sanctus Real video:



Resurrection Sunday. I went to church, and at church the most powerful part of the service was the drama put on by youth from the church. It was set to the song "Everything" by Lifehouse. It depicted this girl who meets you, Jesus, and begins a relationship with you, but then she gets pulled away and distracted by things of this world: relationship with a guy, money, drinking and partying, body-image issues and eating disorders, and lastly by the threat of cutting and suicide. But at the end she throws the gun away and runs toward you again as the world's things try to hold her back. The skit really shows how the world can get (and tries to get) in the way of our relationship with you, Jesus. But my favorite part of the whole skit that really sent me into tears was the part where the girl is struggling and struggling to get to you, Jesus, and when she finally gets pulled to her knees you jump behind her and shield her from all the forces of this world as she worships you. The struggle continues behind you, and then in one mighty force you cause all the forces to fall away and stillness to return.

Below are two links depicting the skit (not done at the church I attended) but the same skit done in two different churches (both are great):






Thank you Jesus for this Easter and how you isolated me to talk to me and help me root out things in my life that I was not letting your sacrifice cover. Lord, you are the King of Kings and my redeemer.

In your cleansing name,

Amen

A Song of the Heart

Lord-

Music is amazing. Sometimes I find myself really listening to you through a song. Today has been one of those days. Just in things going on and what I am listening to you tell me through other people, I find myself connecting the dots of my life right now to see your purpose. You are truly the builder and the wrecking ball (as Jill Phillips sings about in her song, "Wrecking Ball").

The song that kept repeating in my head today has been "Only Love Remains" by JJ Heller. This song is just beautiful, Lord, as it tells of how you make us stronger and take away everything until only love remains within us. One phrase that just hits me every time I hear the song is "be careful with me Jesus as you tear me apart. I love this because the girl in the song is admitting and facing the fact that she needs discipline and needs the correction from you, Lord. Jesus this reminds me of why you sometimes let us dwell in our brokenness to achieve your holiness.

Lord, I just pray for all of us who are dwelling in our brokenness and looking at the world through cracked lenses. God, you are the one who has us look a certain way to see or let you identify the needs around us. Lord it is hard for you to tear us apart for your name. It is so hard. So, Lord, I cry out that you would be gentle as you tear me apart to put me back together to bring you glory through my actions and my stillness.

Below is the song. Lord, I pray it will be my heart's theme right now. Please let others also identify with it.



Lord thank you again for the beautiful gift of music and sound. Please let us make your name known through it.

Thank you Jesus.

In your restorative name,

Amen

Eventful and Shoeless

Lord-

Wow it has been a week since recording our conversation here. Lots has been going on. To rewind this past week, it was hard. I moved and am now staying somewhere different, so preparing for that to happen this weekend has been kind of stressful, but Lord I really believed that it was you giving me a way out of a tough situation. When you give us open doors we need to walk through them. I thank you for the strength to get through last week. It was exhausting, and this week seems to be a catchup day.

But something I have just been reflecting on today has been your will in our lives and our response to you needs to acknowledge your holiness. The way other people from other traditions practice reverance is taking off their shoes. A junior high youth group I am involved in also does this before entering into their sanctuary dedicated to you, Lord, in prayer in worship. They remove their shoes and do not talk in this particular room out of reverance and in worship of You. I really like this idea.

It also makes me think that I need to take my mind "shoes" when approaching you in prayer and reading your word. There is so much that my culture and world makes me carry with me, and really I need to be removing all that hinders and run the race (or sit at your feet) unhindered. I think of Mary and smile because in my mind she is sitting shoeless listening to you talk in her home. I am Martha often and need to come into the living room, remove my shoes and sit at your feet, Lord. Thank you for giving me that to actively think on.

As I often do, I can relate this to a song. This causes me to think of the song "Traveling Light." It talks about leaving everything in God's capable and trustworthy hands.



Thanks for always speaking into our lives, Lord.

Lots of Love.

In your capable hands and name,

Amen

Sunday Late

Lord -

Today was pretty much two things: church (big church) + homework (lots of homework). But it was good because I met some people at church and enjoyed the sermon. I saw many people I knew at church also. Lately that has been something I've missed, not having anyone to sit by in service or talk briefly to afterward. I'm hoping this new church works out.

Also the snow this morning was a surprise. I really was not expecting a blanket of white to be covering my car this morning. I was so very happy to have my scrapper with brush on the end. You know that I am very excited about this (but it is probably only really because of being from a warmer place).

Anyway today was good. I really enjoyed continuing to read Emotional Purity (see entry below) and process some ideas that I shared with a friend yesterday.

Thank you for friends (new and old). I will be going to sleep soon because I have a long day tomorrow with class and work almost all day.

Praise to you.

In your name,

Amen

A Personal Retreat Day

Lord-

Today was very good. Thank you for your goodness and mercy. I spent today walking around downtown. I went to some tea houses and drank white tea (my favorite) and spent the day with you, Lord. Our time together was really good. You really taught me a lot and had me process some lies that I have believed for a long time. Thank you for your truth and how you dispel the lies that Satan whispers to us.

It was a little too cold for me today, but even as I walked I felt you warm me from the inside out as I walked every moment with you today. A day of listening was so cleansing. I deal with noise all day long, and you know that I needed to listen to what you had to tell me today.

You used a small book that I found last week called Emotional Purity by Heather Paulson (shown below -- this image is also a blink to the blog that she writes). In here she writes about how we (as seekers of you Lord) need to guard our hearts for a relationship with you and the one you provide for us. This book is not geared toward the junior high and senior high crowd, as are most "purity" books. Lord, this one is what I have been looking for for years.



Lord, today as I read this I wrote on almost every page. It is such an easy read. I wrote prayers to you Lord and also just comments of amazement as the author seemed at times to be writing the book in response to what I was thinking. Lord thank you for the insights that you give people that you then use to spread to other people.

Lord I bought this for a friend and I pray that it will encourage her as it encouraged me. I am halfway through it (as I read it for most of the day and did not do any homework today), and I am so looking forward to reading the rest of the book.

Thank you for your word and how Paulson has your words sprinkled throughout the book.

Thank you Lord for friends. They are a blessing.

Also thank you for your word and sacrifice.

In your name,

Amen

Here are some songs that I ended my day with: (the second is by a newer artist -- Kari Jobe and second song -not video- is by Sara Groves)

Some Just Funny Videos

Lord -

Thank you for laughter. Thank you for giving us that gift.

Start with this one...



This last weekend was one to remember...




Funny Just Funny...



These are just bust out laughing videos by adolescents and teens. They make me smile.

Funny for Thursday.

Thank you Lord again for laughter.

In your name,

Amen

Wednesday...a time to sleep

Lord-

Today...the word is tired. Weariness is probably better because I just am dragging some this week. I balanced my checkbook and couldn't remember doing it. (I really should go back over that again when I'm more awake.

Last night meeting with my small group of girls we were reading out of Ecclesiastes chapter 3...aka the "time" chapter.

Ecclesiastes 3: A Time for Everything

¹For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

²a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

We laughed last night as we read the different "times" and applied them to our lives. We thanked You Lord for our sense of humor. We also decided that there are some many different "times" here that we can actively relate to. Also we decided that we are going to update our Facebook status from now on with "times" from this passage. :-)

Thank you Lord for your gift of laughter and time. May I use my time today for more than just accomplishing earthly tasks.

Thank you, Lord for your sacrifice. I pray that I never forget it or diminish it's effect on me.

In your name,

Amen

Song on Friday

Friday What a Friday

Lord-

I was reading your Word over the last week or so and here are a few verses that really stuck out to me:

Jeremiah 29:11 -- [a promise] -- "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

This is always one to hang onto as we are nearing the end or having to think about the ending of chapters in our life.

John 14:26 -- "But the Counselor [Holy Spirit], whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you."

When we are bearing witness with words to other people I always keep this verse in mind because God is the one who give the words. This was true with Moses and Aaron, and it is true today. The Holy Spirit will speak to our hearts about what to say.

Deuteronomy 31:8 -- "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Sometimes when I am nervous with being somewhere new or with new people, I think about this verse and how the Lord goes before and all we have to do is retrace his steps and watch for him working in front of us.

Genesis 28:15 -- "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

God is faithful to his promises. He is perfect, therefore his promises will always be kept. When we see promises in scripture he keeps them.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to us. Please guide my weekend as I work with kids, and make the experience a sweet sound to your ear.

In your name,

Amen

Check out the new show on NBC

The premiere was good. I'm looking forward to seeing how this show is portrayed in the future with the skeletal story of David and Saul. Right now this is available as a free download on iTunes. I recommend watching it.

Thoughts from a School Assignment

Lord-

Wow. A professor had us read an entire book in less than two days (not just a small paper back, but a 193 page book). Skimming though was allowed. Anyway I didn't really like not being able to process it as I went, so I went back over the book and looked at what I had underlined and starred. For every starred comment I folded a page, and for every multiple starred comment I made a big fold on the page. Looking over the binding of the book there are many folded pages implying I did get some things out of my cursory read of the book.

The book, The New Faces of Christianity by Jenkins, is a book looking at, and at times, comparing the "global south" to the "global north." Below are some of my "big fold" quotes from the book:

1) "'...Western theologians, liberal and conservative, have been addressing the faith to an age of doubt and secularity, and to the competing salvific claims of secular ideologies.' Global South Christians, in contrast, do not live in an age of doubt, but must instead deal with competing claims to faith." (page 5)

--> I have to wonder about this myself. How much do I have to deal with claims that compete with my faith? Many times in western culture, pluralism is accepted saying that anything I believe is okay (including that eating cheese will get me to heaven) as long as I don't force this frame of thinking on anyone else. This makes me sad that I sometimes feel complacent in my faith because I am not challenging the pluralism that I see. I say I don't willingly participate in it, but isn't silence omission and surrendering without a fight like concession?

2) [looking especially at Africa's pagan religions] "Pagan and primal religions teach the existence of spiritual menaces facing society, but they also provide means to combat those dangers. A crucial flaw of early white missionary activity in Africa and Asia was that it forbade these solutions, whether amulets, fetishes, spells, charms, or ceremonies, since all were conspicuous symbols of pagan practice. At the same time, though, missionaries rarely offered plausible spiritual resources to combat what were still universally seen as pressing menaces." (page 103)

--> Goodness, I agree with this. I never really thought about it before, but how does this translate to our culture as we also work with youth? What are we equipping youth with in the churches to combat the temptations, habits, and influence of things such as sexuality, that students face every day? We often lay out the rules saying that when you are a Christian you act like this.... or you don't do this..... But how are we equipping students to deal with the things they see, hear, and feel? Is the church getting into the messiness of kids' lives? Are we doing discipleship where we get into life with one another as people struggle with self image issues and addictions (physical, emotional, and sensitory)? Why are we afraid, or better yet, WHY AM I afraid to deal with these issues and combat them as real forces? They are real. We, including myself, deal with them on a daily basis. Lord, you know that I do not have the answers and do not discount the struggles I have and see. Please Lord bring your peace and conviction.

The last quote that really summed up what I got from the book was:

3) "Perhaps most important, the experience of the emerging churches must make us rethink the role of the Old Testament." (page 189)

--> Lord how true this is because of the hardship and social issues that face the "global south" today seem to, at times, directly correlate with what happened in the Old Testament. Sometimes the Western church can have New Testament answers for everything, but what does your WHOLE word have to offer? This book by Jenkins also mentioned books of the Bible, from the old and new that seem to resonate with people currently following other incomplete walks of faith. Your WHOLE word is useful for rebuking foreign ways, teaching THE WAY, and admonishing your followers (as the verse seems to say).

Overall Lord thank you for having me read this book. I wasn't very excited about the time line, but your truth has no time line. It always was, and will always be.

Thank you for my busy days and my days of blessing. Please forgive me if at times I am not slow to speak but instead say too much. Please forgive me for that. You are the Lord of the Lord, the King of Kings, and the Prince of Peace. Thank you for all you promise.

In your holy name, Amen

In Honor of St. Patrick's Day

Lord-

Today has been a busy day, and I thought I needed to post today before it became tomorrow. Which it will in three minutes!!

Lord you are the giver and the sustainer of life. Thank you for your promise, like you promised to Jacob at Bethel, that you will not leave us until your promise and covenant with us is finished.

Genesis 28:15 - "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

I love this promise Lord, especially because it is St. Patrick's Day tomorrow/today (by the time this is posted). St. Patrick's Day, at least in my experience, has always been equated with luck, but we as Christians need to equate it with thanking you, Lord Jesus, for your blessings to us. You created within us a journey that you are being faithful to complete. Thank you for promising not to leave us and to watch over us.

Lord thank you for your promise through sacrifice. Thank you for friends and encouragement they provide. You are great Lord. Thank you for your calling and journey in our hearts. I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are walking along that journey to completion. Thank you Jesus for being faithful even when we fall and skin our knees fighting our flesh. You are great Lord, and we are like a clover -- one of many, but one of a kind to you.

May you have all the glory forever and ever, Amen. In your name.

Before Church

Lord-

This weekend has been rough. It is the end of Spring Break, and I really don't want to go back to class tomorrow. I love school and learning, but I don't know if I will ever like leaving my weekends. Please forgive me because lately my heart has been adrift. Growing up has never been easy. I'm sorry that sometimes I clutter my heart and emotions with things other than you. For this I am truly sorry. Lord please be my roots to keep me firmly planted in you. But also I pray for the right pair of wings to carry me into what you have planned for me. The song "Roots Before Branches" gets stuck in my head when I think about this.

Lord I know that I need not move from this place till you are finished with me. A very wise classmate once said that "This world doesn't need any more empty vessels; therefore don't be in a hurry to go from this place." This place is currently a place of healing and sustainment. Lord you have brought me to a place where my heart needs to rest for a while. Please restore and strengthen it so that I can be more of an adventurer for you and go into the places that others sometimes fear going. Lord you hold our hands as we walk into the valleys and sometimes fall down the mountains of our lives. Please continue to hold my hand.

Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice so that you could be my Savior and my sustainer. Please fight for that place in my heart. Thank you.

In your name,
Amen

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